Business owner’s mindset: You are the average of 5 people

He was a motivational speaker, self-help guru, and entrepreneur. Sadly, he’s no longer with us, but his legacy lives on. He most famously said:

“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”

This, of course, relates to the law of averages, which states the result of any situation will be the average of all the potential outcomes.

When it comes to our relationships, like it or not, we take huge influence from those we’re closest to.

These people have the potential to affect the way we think, our self-esteem, and our decision making.

Obviously, everyone is their own person. We’re all individuals. That’s not what I’m getting at. But we’re all certainly more affected by our environment than we might realise.

I was thinking about this recently. I know that I have very clear goals. I am precious with my time, and that’s because I want to make sure the things I spend my time on are helping me move closer to those goals every day.

And for that reason, I choose the people I spend the most time with very carefully.

If we call considered this when choosing who to spend our time with it’s likely we’d pick positive, supportive, driven people to be around. Right?

But, perhaps annoyingly, it’s also necessary to have our critics, too. In fact, studies have shown that people at the top of their game thrive on criticism. It’s the biggest difference between novices and experts.

Those beginning their journey in their chosen field – or those who simply aren’t as passionate about it – like to hear that they’re doing a good job. It helps them stay committed.

But experts – like you – focus on negative feedback too because it helps them progress. You can’t surround yourself with ‘yes men’ and expect to grow.

You see, when you gain experience, knowledge and skills in your field, your focus begins to shift. It’s one of the many reasons businesses dedicate so much time to getting customer feedback.

The problem is, most people are too afraid to surround themselves with others who force them to raise their game.

It’s the reason there’s a divide between those who are happy to plod along with an average business and those who really push themselves to become the top of their sector.

But it’s important to remember there’s a difference between having critics and keeping company with negative people. Naysayers and people who being you down or don’t believe in you are a very different kettle of fish. These are the relationships you want to ditch because they’re detrimental to your wellbeing and success.

What we’re really talking about here is surrounding yourself with people who challenge you.

To be at the top of your game, you always have to be levelling up. You don’t remain at the top by standing still.

And that has everything to do with your mindset. As we know, your mindset is influenced by those around you.

A lot of entrepreneurs make the mistake of thinking they need to be the most successful person in a room. However, if you’re the best person in the room, you won’t grow. And if you’re not growing, your business isn’t growing. And if your business isn’t growing, laws of nature say it’s slowly dying.

So, who do you spend most of your time with right now?

Take some time to think about this one. Better yet, get some paper and a pen and write down the 5 people in your life that you spend the most time with. This will include your family, friends, and co-workers.

When you’ve got your list, ask yourself these questions:

How ambitious is each person?

How successful is each one, or how successful have they been?

How enthusiastic or optimistic or happy are they?

What mindset do they have?

Are they supportive enough to help empower you?

How many of the people on your list meet the standard that you should be setting for yourself?

Don’t be upset or worried if you realise that some people on your list aren’t the best people for you to spend your time with if you really want to harbour the mindset that will allow you and your business to continually grow and improve. Sometimes as part of our growth we simply outgrow people.

And this is certainly not to say that you can no longer spend time with the people who don’t make the grade. Instead, make sure you spend more time with those who do fulfil your brief.

You already know the world is filled with a weird and wonderful selection of people.

Amongst them will be some passionate, inspiring, incredible people. And there will also be some negative, energy sicking, miserable people who take joy in seeing people fail.

The challenge of surrounding yourself with the right kind of people can be… where to find them!

I’ll give you a little tip here: you probably won’t find them at your local networking event.

I’m not knocking networking; it can work well for some people. And of course, it’s possible to meet some genuine, beneficial people there. It’s just not my cup of tea. I really believe there are better ways to surround myself with likeminded, ambitious, motivated people.

It’s one of the reasons I created MSP Marketing Edge in fact. One of the cool things you get access to as part of your membership is a private Facebook group where likeminded MSP business owners from around the world can gather to share ideas, things that have worked, things that haven’t, ask questions, and get support from the people who understand them the most.

Everything we do is about business growth and excellence. But that doesn’t mean people are afraid to criticise – if it’s constructive, of course.

But it’s not only MSP Marketing Edge where you’ll find likeminded people to talk and share ideas with. There are lots of programmes around with similar intent. What’s important is that you’re seeking out the people who will have the greatest impact on you, your mindset, and your business growth.

Surround yourself with the people you aspire to be like, because eventually, you will become like them.